4 Easy Steps To Writing Your Wed​ding Vows

First, decide this is something you both want to do. Writing your own wedding vows can add a lot of pressure and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with using the traditional vows. If you’re both committed to writing your own vows then follow these four steps.

1. Get Some Ideas Down on Paper

Head to a park or café or even a quiet place in your home with a pen and paper or your tablet. You might find it easier to write your vows in stages so start by making some notes.

Here’s a few questions you can think about to get you started and give you ideas on what to say:

  • How or when did you first meet?
  • How and why did you get together?
  • When did you realize she/he was the one?
  • What little details make you smile when you think of him/her?
  • How do you balance each other out? Is he super-organized, whereas you’re more of the fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants type?
  • Why are you getting married? What does it mean to you?
  • What promises do you want to make for a happy marriage?

Don’t worry about constructing perfect sentences or how things sound to start with, just get your ideas down. You may well end up with pages and pages. Great! Once you have plenty of notes, you can choose the bits that really stand out to you, and then start polishing them up. The reason you’re writing your own vows is to make them personal, so don’t rush deciding what you want to say.

2. Research Other Wedding Vows

Read lots of examples of other people’s wedding vows (handily, we’ve got lots below) and see if you prefer a more traditional or modern style. Do you want religious or secular wedding vows? Are they going to be funny or emotional? Will it be promises, or a speech or a poem?

Talk to your partner and set some basic ground rules, like length and tone. You might not want to hear each other’s before the wedding day but you ought to be on the same page. You promising to love them on their deathbed versus them vowing not to binge-watch Netflix without you is a little incongruous. Similarly, are their any words you both disagree on, such as “to obey”? Ask a close friend to read both and see if the complement each other.


3. Whittle Down Your Notes Into Vows

Your vows should only be around a minute or two long per person. Pick out 5-7 of the most important things you want to say to your partner and use them as the foundation of your vows. You’ll want a mix of the reasons you love them and some key promises you want to make to them for your life together.

Try to keep your sentences short and avoid phrases or words that may trip you up in order to help you to memorize them, if this is something you choose to do. You can also write a longer version of your vows in a letter to give to your partner on your wedding night if there’s more to say. There are no rules to writing your vows!

4. Practise Saying Them

Practise saying them aloud in front of a mirror, or to a friend, and keep adjusting until you’re happy. Your vows need to ring true to how you feel and how you’d speak. On the day of, it’s nice to have them memorised but absolutely not necessary. You’ll find if you practise them enough, they’ll stick in your head so you won’t need a prompt. Here’s some tips on how to deliver a speech which can help you out when giving your vows too.

Should I Write My Own Vows?

Writing your own vows allows for both the Bride and Groom to create more personal and unique commitments to each other. 

13 Tips to Writing Your Vows

Here are our top tips for writing—and delivering—your own wedding vows.

1. Don't wait until the last minute. Plan to have your vows written at least three weeks before your wedding. Trust us: You'll be thankful for the rehearsal when those wedding-day jitters kick in.

2. Make a list of all your thoughts. You don't have to try to put everything into sentences right away. Jot down all the things you love about your soon-to-be spouse, what you're looking forward to most in your marriage, and what promises you want to make to your future husband or wife. Revisit these notes later and highlight your favorite items. Use those as the starting point for your vows.

3. Write up to three drafts. Take a few days—even a week—to give you and your vows some space. After you've taken time apart, go back and reread what you wrote. If needed, do this one or two more times. But after three times, it's really time to stop—continuously rewriting will drive you crazy.

4. Don't try to include everything. It's understandable to want to fit everything you're feeling into your vows—but in reality, you just can't include everything. "It's impossible to fit every single emotion and memory into your vows," says JP Reynolds, M.Div., celebrity officiant and author of How to Write Your Vows.

5. Avoid words like "always" and "never." This kind of absolute language is all but impossible to live up to in real life. It's not always going to be easy, so don't promise perfection.

6. Embrace sentimentality and don't worry about being cheesy. Writing your vows isn't the time to worry about being corny or cheesy. "If the words are heartfelt, then they're not cheesy," says Reynolds. "I've never heard vows that made me roll my eyes."

7. Go after laughter. The ability to make your significant other smile and even laugh out loud during your ceremony will serve you well in your marriage.

8. Get inspired with books, songs, movies, and poems. If you have a favorite line from a movie or song that expresses your feelings, use it as a starting point. And don't discount children's books, such as Maurice Sendak and Ruth Krauss's I'll Be You and You'll Be Me, and I Like You, by Sandol Stoddard. Kids' books often have a way of communicating deep, complex emotions in simple sentences and might just provide the inspiration you're looking for.

9. Practice reading out loud. You’ve got it all down, but the only way to make sure everything sounds perfect is to hear it out. “Reading your vows out loud will help you catch spots where the grammar might be iffy or where you’re missing a word, as well as figure out if the structure is cohesive,” Dent explains.

10. Indicate pauses and intonation. "You’ll want to allow time to laugh or tear up without interrupting your flow," says Dent. "You don't want to rush through your vows, and your guests don't want you to either. For the best comprehension and emotional reactions, take it slow and focus on breaks, pauses, and intonation.”

11. Ask a trusted friend to listen and edit. A close friend who is a great sounding board (and a pro at keeping secrets) is an important ally to have. “They can give you constructive criticism and help you improve your vows to make sure you really get that meaning across,” says Dent.

12. Make a fresh copy of your vows for the ceremony. Whether you typed your vows up on your laptop or wrote them on a napkin at a bar, it's important to think about how they'll look when they come into view during the ceremony. Rewrite or reprint a fresh copy—or consider reading them from vow books your officiant can hold until it's time. “Yes, the focus will be on the words themselves, but the aesthetics matter, too,” says Dent.

13. Keep the vows a secret from your partner until the ceremony. "Your vows are a gift to one another, so don't share them ahead of time," Reynolds explains. It will make the ceremony all the more impactful and emotional if you're hearing them for the first time.

Wedding Vow Examples

Below are a mix of some wedding vow examples. Feel free to copy them word for word, put your own twist on them, or just use them for ideas! If you still need vow assistance, please reach out for a Consultation.

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Holy Estate of Matrimony

I, (Name) do take you, (Name);

to be my wedded wife/husband,

after God’s ordinance,

in the holy estate of matrimony,

To have and to hold

from this day forward,

for better for worse,

for richer for poorer,

in sickness and in health,

I will love you and cherish you,

all the days of my life,

as God is my witness,

I give you this promise.

Faithful Partner in Life

I (Name), take you (Name), to by my husband/wife, secure in the knowledge that you will be my constant friend, my faithful partner in life, and my one true love.

On this special day, I give you in the presence of God and all those in attendance, my sacred promise to stay by your side as your faithful husband/wife, in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, through the good times and the bad.

I promise to love you without reservation, comfort you in times of distress, encourage you to achieve all of your goals, laugh with you and cry with you, grow with you in mind and spirit, always be open and honest with you, and cherish you for as long as we both shall live.

Together in Marriage

I (Name), take (Name) to be my wedded wife/husband,

and to live together in marriage.

I promise to love you, comfort you, honor and keep you

for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health,

and forsaking all others, be faithful only to you

So long as we both shall live.


Stand by Your Side

I (Name) promise to you, (Name), before our family and friends,

to stand by your side,

to share and support your hopes and dreams.

I vow to always be there for you

When you fall, I will catch you.

When you cry I will comfort you.

When you laugh I will share your joy.

No matter what lies ahead of us,

I will see it as a journey, that can only be completed together.

I promise this now and forever

Sacred Wedding Vow

In the presence of these our family and friends,

I (Name) do take you (Name) to be my wife/husband,

my partner and friend to join my life with yours,

to share with you all that is to be,

to laugh with you in joy,

to comfort you in sorrow,

to grow with you in love.

I will honor you

I will be faithful to you, all the days of my life

this is my sacred vow.

All My Heart

With all my heart, I (Name) take you (Name) to be my wife/husband.

I promise to be your lover, companion, and friend,

Your partner in parenthood,

Your ally in conflict

Your greatest fan

I will be your comrade in adventure,

Your comfort in disappointment,

Your accomplice in mischief,

Your strength in times of need

I will listen with understanding, and trust you completely.

All the days of my life

My Person

I believe in you, the person you will grow to be and the couple we will be together. With my whole heart, I take you as my wife/husband, acknowledging and accepting your faults and strengths, as you do mine. I promise to be faithful and supportive and to always make our family’s love and happiness my priority. I will be yours in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, in failure and in triumph. I will dream with you, celebrate with you and walk beside you through whatever our lives may bring. You are my person — my love and my life, today and always.

Short & Sweet

Pledge My Love

I (Name) stand before you (Name) because you have won my heart.

And today I choose you to be my (husband/wife).

You are my life partner, the one I pledge my love.

I will listen to you, and be open and honest with you.

I will be your trusted partner and stand by you through good times and tough times.

I promise this now and for all the days of my life.


(Name), I want to be with you always just as you are. I choose you above all others to share my life in marriage. I love you for yourself, and I want you to become all that you can be. I promise to honour this pledge as long as I live. I ask everyone present to witness that I take you as my partner in marriage.

We May Be One

I, (Name), take you, (Name), to be my wedded husband/wife.

With deepest joy I receive you into my life that together we may be one.

I promise you my love, my fullest devotion, my tenderest care.

I pledge to you my life as a loving and faithful husband/wife.

Together, Forever

On this day, I give you my heart.

My promise,

That I will walk with you,

Hand in hand,

Wherever our journey leads us,

Living, learning, loving,



Partner for Life

I take you to be my partner for life

I promise above all else to live in truth with you

And to communicate fully and fearlessly

I give you my hand and my heart

As a sanctuary of warmth and peace

And pledge my love, devotion, faith and honor

As I join my life to yours.


"I want us to grow old and crusty together, to shake our collective fists at teenagers, and to talk endlessly about the old days when things were better, cheaper, and generally more wholesome."

"I love you, truly, madly, deeply... and I was thinking—maybe we should get married."

"As the wise Salt n Pepa said, what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man."

"I promise to unclog the drain, even though you're the only one of us who has long hair."

"I vow to get a professional even though I really want to try to do it myself first."

"I promise to turn on the air conditioning when you're hot—even if I'm totally freezing."

"I vow to love you even when you're old and still playing Xbox"

For Her​

"I choose you and promise to choose you as my husband every day we wake. I will love you in word and deed. I will laugh with you, cry with you, scream with you, grow with you, and craft with you. To be your kin and your partner in all of life's adventures is all I could hope for in the world. Loving what I know of you and trusting what I don't yet know, I give you my hand. I give you my love. I give you myself, the good, the bad, and the yet to come."

"Today, surrounded by all of your loved ones, I choose you to be my husband. I am proud to be your wife and to join my life with yours. I vow to support you, inspire you, and love you always. For as long as we both shall live, I will be by your side–for better or worse, in sickness and health, for richer or poorer. You are my one and only today and every day."

"I'm madly in love with you, my husband. Not only do I promise that my love for you will grow with each day, but I promise to be your friend and partner every step of the way. I will be there for you, day or night, in richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. I trust, appreciate, cherish, and respect you. I promise to share with you my hopes and dreams as we build our lives together. You, my love, are my everything."

"In faith, honestly, and love, I take you as my wedded husband, to share with you in God's plan for our lives together united in Christ. I commit to you this day all that I am and all that I can love. I pledge to you, in the name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Before Him I offer this ring as a symbol of my love for you and a symbol of unity. I pray to faithfully fulfill my place as your helpmate and to uphold you in prayer as submit my heart to you. I pray to always be by and on your side and to always keep the presence of the Lord in our home."

For Him

"Give me your bad hair days, your long commutes, your burnt coffee, and lost keys. Give me your everyday, and I will give you my love to make it alright."

"With this ring I promise you that you'll never have to face the world alone."

"I promise to be there to catch you if you should stumble, carry you over every threshold, and fall in love with you every day."

"ou're everything that I ever dreamed of and everything I will ever need. Our love for each other is heaven sent. Today I vow to be here with you and for you, forever and always."

"You have taught me that two people joined together with respect, trust, and open communication can be far stronger and happier than each could ever be alone. You are the strength I didn't know I needed, and the joy that I didn't know I lacked. Today, I choose to spend the rest of my life with you."

"You have made me the happiest man on the world today by agreeing to share your life with me. I promise to cherish and respect you. I promise to care for you and protect you. I promise to comfort you and encourage you. I promise to be with you for all of eternity."

"I love you and thank the Lord for the love that bound our hearts and lives together in the spiritual fellowship of marriage. I will love, honor, and cherish you always. I will love you in sickness as in health, in poverty as in wealth, in sorrow as in joy, and will be true to you by God's grace, trusting in Him, so long as we both shall live."